So I saw him on Sunday and it was really nice. I missed him sooooo much it was so good to see him. I wonder if we will ever get back together or if we will remain friends. I know I can not completely accept a friendship at this time for several reason. 1. I still love him 2. I still have hope (even if its a 5% chance) 3. I think our issues can be worked out 4. I don't even want to think of him with another girl (the thought makes me want to vomit). So again I sit here and wonder what to do. I thought for now (literally the next few days) I will be patient and give him space and continue to think things through. I wonder if I tried something, like give him a kiss, or embrace him just a little longer, or just tell him I miss him how will he react. I'm not ready for complete rejection so I at this time i won't do anything. I wonder if my quest for "the perfect moment" is stupid or its something that will really happen. There is still some doubt ( a whole lot) in my mind about how he feels about everything. Perhaps on our next outing I will have a better understanding. I felt that there were moments on Sunday but I just think "Maybe I'm just being a girl and over analyzing everything" The longer than usual gaze, the touch on the knee, the kiss on the corner of the mouth (oh how that makes me shiver just thinking about it), the tears that we almost shared at a couple of points. Ahhhhh I hate this, I hope by writing these things out I will obsess less about them.
Oh yeah I haven't gone to the gym in a LONG time, this week has been too crazy. Next week I plan on signing up for some pole classes. Woohoo!
Until next time
Moi
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